Howard
by KittySister
Summary: This is a funny short story about being a Nod Engineer.


                "Join the Brotherhood of NOD, bringing peace through power. The Technology of peace is at hand!" The bright red letters read, still sharply printed on the faded pamplet. The promise had seemed wonderfully exciting, but that had been three months ago. Since he had joined the brotherhood, the only thing Howard had found at hand was dumbfounding boredom. 

                Day and night he sat in the barracks, not even allowed outside. He idly flipped thought the torn pamplet, reading over the droning propaganda and wondering if GDI had anymore fun."

                "Al'u ew outta these beds an on yer feet!" The loud accented voice of the Seargant startled Howard from his faint daydream. He quickly leapt to his feet, pulling his nod beret over his shaggy hair and trying to look soldier-ish.

                "E need uh En-gin-ear, out now! Ew der!" The seargent pointed directly at Howard. "Ew look luk de En-gin-ear type!"

                "Uh... I don't know a thing about engineering, Sir." Howard confessed in a slight mumble.

                "Dat's why ew git if-teen seconds of trainin'" The seargent shouted in his face. "Ow lis-en up cause Ay only say dis unce. Er in en-gin-ear, group IX, ew hear? Run ta a build-in, and take it o'er, Go!"

                "Ah, um... Yessir." Howard quickly pulled on the heavy coveralls and rushed out of the barracks. The sudden spot lights of the base nearly blinded him, he had forgotten what time of day it was in the stark confines of the barracks. The sound of gunfire filled his sense. Panic flooded over Howard as he suddenly realized what had happened. He was a NOD soldier!

                "You there, group six!" Another officer shouted at him (suddenly Howard realized he was the only member of group six). "You get into that GDI base and take over their barracks, got it?"

                "Yes sir! Barracks is... um... that way?" Howard pointed northward, hoping he was right.

                "Southeast, you doof! Now go!"

                Howard ran off, heading southeast (he hoped, he had always had a bad sense of direction). Quickly he found out exactly how out of shape he was, reprimanding himself for not taking those morning jogs he had always said he would! Luckily, the base wasn't too far off. Most of the fighting was towards the other end of the base and Howard easily snuck in, infiltrating the weathered tent.     

                Immedently, one of the would-be soldiers lept to his feet. "Ah no! It'sa nod soldier, ya'll! He'll kill us all!" Paniced cries went up around all the young cadets and Howard decided to use it to his advantage.

                "That's right! And if you don't do as I say, I'll kill your dogs too!"

                "Not bingy!"

                "Yes, bingy! Now, you have 3 seconds to paint this tent red!"

                A few men ran out of the barracks, soon coming back covered in red paint.

                "Now wha?" One of the slack-jawed men asked, forcing Howard to puzzle that out. Hed didn't exactly know what came next.

                "Um, all of you are now Nod engineers! Welcome aboard! Now, walk into some buildings. That's right, just spread the word. Peace through power." Howard patted the men on thier backs as they flooded out of the barracks.

                Soon silence fell over the base. A tall uniformed Nod soldier walked into the barracks, insignia clearing marking him a general and a flyboy. "Hey, you, got a message from General Slovic for you."

                "For... me?" Howard tapped his chest.

                "Yeah, here." He tossed the small radio. A fuzzy picture of the hansome commander's face lit up the screen.

                "I don't know who the hell you are, but you did a fine job out there. If it weren't for you, we could have lost this base! Peace through Power!" 

                The communication clicked off, leaving Howard beaming. He handed the radio back to the pilot. As he took it, the man glanced down at Howard. "Who the hell are you anyway?"

                "I'm Howard, the Nod Technician!"


End file.
